The Narrow Way

I’ve forgiven people who never said sorry or really meant it.
I’ve loved people who hurt me.
I’ve even prayed blessings over the ones who broke my heart.

But forgiving myself?
That’s been the hardest part.

Because no one knows your full story like you do.
No one sees the details of your decisions, the moments you wish you could go back and change,
The times you ignored the warning signs,
The things you tolerated because you didn’t know your worth,
The seasons you stayed silent when you should’ve spoken.

It’s easy to say, “I should’ve known better.”
It’s easy to rehearse your mistakes until guilt sounds like truth.

But Jesus, He doesn’t talk to me like that.

He doesn’t shame me.
He doesn’t accuse me.
He doesn’t replay my worst moments like a broken record.

Instead, He speaks grace.
He speaks freedom.
He reminds me that His blood didn’t just cover the things others did to me,
It covered the things I did, too.

I’m learning that holding onto guilt doesn’t make me holy.
It just makes me heavy.
And Jesus didn’t carry the cross so I would keep carrying shame.

Romans 8:1 says,
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

None.

Not for what you should’ve seen coming.
Not for the years you feel like you lost.
Not for the choices you made when you were still trying to survive.

You can’t change the past,
But you can forgive the version of you who was doing the best they could with what they knew at the time.

And Jesus?
He’s not holding your past over your head, He’s holding you.

So I’m learning to look in the mirror and speak grace.
To stop punishing myself for what He already paid for.
To stop waiting until I “feel” forgiven and start receiving what’s already mine.

I’m not perfect.
But I’m free.
And freedom means I don’t have to keep proving I’m sorry,
I just have to keep walking forward.

I am learning to forgive myself,
Not because I’ve forgotten what happened,
But because I finally believe Jesus meant it when He said, “It is finished.”